Dictionary defines attitude as a settled ways of
thinking about someone or something. This settles way of thinking is reflected
in a person’s behaviour towards the said object. Attitude is a collection of enduring beliefs; therefore we can say that attitude is a progeny of deep
rooted beliefs. Attitude is also a
feeling or an emotion about an object of interest. Our attitudes determine how
we behave towards other people.
Eagly and Charkein 1993.p.1 defined attitude as
a psychological tendency that is expressed by evaluating a particular entity
with some degree of favour or disfavour. Attitude is also a settled way of
thinking towards one’s self. Attitude toward self is the foundation of self
esteem. Attitude can either be negative or positive.
Attitude is experiential rather than inherent. No
one is born with an attitude; we pick this up as we interact with the
environment. For example, no one is born with a natural fear of spiders,
however it takes one nasty experience with a spider to develop a long term fear
of spiders. We therefore form attitudes as we interact with other members of
the society. The bible says in the book of proverbs 17:22 that “a joyful heart
is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up to the born.” ‘A joyful spirit’
is a positive mental attitude and ‘a crushed spirit’ is a negative mental
attitude. A person with a negative mental attitude is equated to a dead person,
because positive mental attitude is what makes us feel alive.
Some people are so negative such that success
avoids them. A negative mind cannot be an incubator of good ideas. People with
a negative attitude see nothing good in anything. In fact, nothing in the world
can help a person with a negative mental attitude feel better. They are always
bitter and complaining. It is said that, “90% of a person’s success lies in his
brain and 10% in his hands. Meaning, what goes on in our head is more important
than what we do, because what we do is influenced by what we think.
Our mental attitude affects our self esteem and
self confidence. Self esteem is ones opinion about self while self confidence
is belief in one’s abilities in relation to challenges. Each human being has
got internal conversations with two persons; one thinks that we are able and
it’s possible, the other thinks that we are not able and that it’s always not
possible. Whether we be of negative or positive attitude depends on which of
this two persons we decide to elevate and listen to more. People with a
negative attitude decide to listen to the later. Someone once said that all of
us are self made except only the successful are willing to admit this. We have
become everything that we thought to be, we have achieved everything that we
thought we could achieve and we have gone as far as we have allowed ourselves
mentally. Ask the athletes and sports men and women, and they will tell you
that races and games are worn long before the actual day of competition. The
mental state of an athlete determines whether he/she will win the game or not.
If at the beginning of the race there is even a small degree of defeat in the
athletes mind, then the race is as good as lost.
For example, in 1997, Wilson Kipketer set a new
world record for 800 meters in Cologne, German. He crossed the finish line in 1 minute
and 41 seconds and everyone thought that this was the fastest anyone could
do. Some commentators even argued that
for anyone to break the record they would have to literally run out of their
skin, and for 13 good years thousands of athletes respected that. They finished
the race not to beat the record but to be as close to it as possible. Then on
22end August, 2010 in Berlin, German, David Rudisha after several attempts
smashed that record and left all commentators tongue-tied for a minute. He then
went ahead and smashed his own record two more times and the third time he set
a time of 1 minute and 40 seconds.
The point I wish to emphasize here is; how was
David Rudisha just like Wilson Kipketer, Sebastian Coe and Alberto Juantorena
able to smash his own record once or twice? The answer is pretty simple; the second
time they went to the field they were sure that it is possible, so they ran
knowing that they could break the record again. It is interesting to note that
the same Rudisha in subsequent years was unable to bit his own record. Proper
investigations in to his explanations point to a defeated mental attitude
before the race.
Most of the time, there are these voices that
usually scream in our heads whenever we dare to dream big. These voices will
say words like “I do not have enough experience.” “I am not well qualified.”I
cannot achieve this given my current situation. “What if I fail?” “What if no
one is willing to listen to me?” “Maybe I am still too young.” “I do not have
what it takes.” “Even if I wanted, I am not able.” These are what I call self
imposed limitations that become a hindrance to achieving our goals. These self
imposed limitations are usually as a result if lack of self confidence and low
self esteem. Negative mental attitudes create mental barriers and hurdles as
excuses that seek to rationalize our state of mental defeat. Progress cannot be
realized in presence of such hurdles.
Negative mental attitude creates fears in us.
These fears hold us back from reaching out tour goals. A story is told of a boy
who stood up to introduce a play on a stage and his mind sat down. So he is
physically present on the stage and he can’t find the words that he was
supposed to say. So he stands still on the stage and stares at the crowd which
then starts to laugh. He runs to the back stage. At the back stage his drama
teacher encourages him and sends him back to the stage. And finally after a
long struggle he manages to introduce the play. There is no bigger enemy of
personal progress than fear of things that won’t kill you. There is an African
proverb that says “if there is no enemy within the enemy without can do us no
harm.” If you lose the mental battle you cannot win the physical battle. Indeed
dreams cannot be nurtured by a scared mind. Sometime fear of the unknown can
become a hindrance towards making personal progress.
I am
reminded of a story of a young boy and a toothless bulldog. Every evening while
he was walking from school the bulldog would wait for him down the only road
home and begin to bark at him and when the boy starts to run, the bulldog would
chase after him. This happened for so long until the boy could not take it
anymore. One day he decided to act. On this day he was walking from school and
as usual, when he approached the bulldog’s ambush point, the bulldog begun to
bark and this time round he did not run away instead he walked towards the bull
dog and the bulldog barked even louder with its mouth wide open. As he got even
closer, he realized something strange; the bulldog did not have teeth! He felt
so angry and ashamed not at the dog but at himself. All this while he had been
running away from a toothless bulldog he then went ahead and walked past the
bulldog as it continued to bark. And from that day he quit running and the
bulldog lost the fan in waylaying him every evening.
The friends who think we are not capable, the
teacher who dismisses us as non achievers and the intimidating competition are
just toothless bulldogs that we can walk passed, but if fear is what guides us,
we keep running away from them. I take comfort in the words; dare to dream, if
you did not have the capacity to make your wildest dreams come true, your mind
will not have the capacity to conjure such ideas in the first place. There is
no limit to what you can potentially achieve except for the limitations that
you choose to impose on your imagination. What you think is possible will come
to pass to the extent that you deem it possible it really is as simple as that.
In order to overcome negative mental attitude, do the following.
(a)
Understand and appreciate yourself.
(b)
Set yourself some realistic goals.
(c)
Develop a sense of responsibility.
(d)
Learn to control your emotions.
(e)
Have respect for others and yourself.
(f)
Be honest and truthful in all things.
(g)
Always be optimistic.
(h)
Always anticipate favorable results.
(i)
Avoid pessimists.
(j)
Believe in the “I must” and “I can”
attitude.
(k)
Be bold.
The details about each one of the above actions
are found in my book “TEN-STEP RECIPE FOR SUCCESS” please read it.
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