WHEN DO TRAGEDIES BECOME TRAGIC?

Tragedies become tragic when they take away from us three most fundamental human qualities; hope, faith and believe.

A young boy once asked his grandfather, “why do bad things happen in the world?” his grandfather looked at him straight in the eye and answered him, “because my son, that’s what make the world normal, you see, if no one died or got sick, or if there were no rumours of war or road accidents

and there were no criminal or jails then this would be an abnormal world. It would be abnormal if bad things never happened just like it would be abnormal if good things never happened. Part of being normal is learning how to exist alongside bad things.”

When bad things happen, as human beings, we react. Whether we be positively or negatively affected will largely depend on how we choose to react. Death of a loved one for example causes a feeling of confusion, disbelief, and anger at people we feel are responsible for the death, intense emotions such as sadness, decreased productivity, longing, anxiety and withdrawal from the society. All these are negative reactions that do not help you to overcome the situation.

In case of a tragedy, it would help to:

• Try and maintain a normal schedule.
• Get adequate rest and sleep. 
•   Engage in distracting positive activist such as sports and hobbies.
• Schedule pleasant events like favourite movies.
•  To recollect all pleasant memories of loved one in case of death.
•   Seek counselling if the emotions become unbearable.
•     Pray and tend to spiritual faith.
•   Take a break or a holiday.
•  Talk to other people for support and spend time with friends.

It will not help to;

•           Drink alcohol and abuse drugs in order to cope.
•      Withdraw from family and friends.
•      Overeat or fail to eat.
•            Overwork
•            Blame others for the tragedy.
•            Engage in risky behaviour such as reckless driving.
•            Watch excessive television and play computer games.
•             Fail to take care of yourself.

              [Adopted from psychological first aid (2^ed edition): NCTSN/NCPTSD (2006)]

Learning to deal with tragedies and unfortunate circumstances is key to helping us stay focused on our goals. We need to realize that our goals are more important than anything else going on around us.